#11

a song

I started the year off telling myself I was going to write a poem, or a song, every day. It was supposed to be therapeutic and help get me out of the horrible depression I was in following the accident at work the year before. I needed to get my head around things and get myself into a different mindset, and poetry seemed to be the answer. The last time I did that, I wrote ROBIN HOOD. I was just 18 and fresh out of school.

But I have all these words now. I tell myself they’re the lyrics for songs I was forwarding to Dr. Dave. I thought if I collect them all up, I’ll have a book. Problem is, I wasn’t giving them titles. I just numbered them. When I wanted to come up with a title, it seemed like a no-brainer to call it NUMEROLOGY.

I’ve only got 46 of them so far. They’re in no real order. They’re just words…

#11

I got the existential blues

By dancing to a sordid tune

Whistling naked in the park

While underneath the moon.

I’m looking at my empty heart

Knowing it’s too soon,

Knowing that I’m dancing

Romancing with the moon

Hoping that you’ll lay with me

And give me what you got for free.

I’m like some troubadour on stage

Who is singing out the blues

Pretending and remembering

Dancing to a sordid tune

Just take a drink and sing with me

These existential blues.

I see you when you look at me

When you look into the mirror,

You tell me that you’ve to go

You’ve made it very clear,

But I don’t think I wanna know

What you’re gonna do

Cause I’m still dancing in the dark

Underneath the moon.

I got the existential blues

Still dancing to a tune

And if I try to sing for you

And do the ol’ soft shoe,

Would you stop and wait for me

And maybe let me see,

How you’re pretending and resending

Breaking all the rules

Drinking still and thinking ’til the existential blues

Bringing me and singing me, the existential blues

Pretending and resending

Breaking all the rules

Bringing me and singing me,

The existential blues.