SCRIBBLER
A QUICK WORD IF I MIGHT...
THIS IS IN CAPS BECAUSE I WROTE IT IS A SCRIPT I WAS SUPPOSED TO READ. MY EYESIGHT ISN’T AS GOOD AS IT ONCE WAS. BUT I POSTED IT—TO EVERYONE—WHEN IT’S SUPPOSED TO GO TO MY SIX—COUNT ‘EM! 6—PAID SUBSCRIBERS. I SCREWED UP. I THINK IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE LONG ROMANTIC WALKS MY WIFE LIKES TO TAKE…in the wine aisle
I KINDA SCRIPTED THIS ONE BECAUSE I WANTED TO REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD MYSELF LAST NIGHT. (PLEASE, THE LESS SAID ABOUT LAST NIGHT, THE BETTER…LET ME JUST SAY MY WIFE LIKES TO TAKE LONG ROMANTIC WALKS DOWN THE WINE ASILE, AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.)
BUT I FIND MYSELF IN SOMEWHAT OF A DILEMA HERE. NOTHING SERIOUS. FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS AND THAT SORT OF SHIT. BUT I WAS GOING THROUGH MY OLD FILES AND DECIDED TO OPEN THIS ONE…DON’T WORRY, I KNEW WHAT IT WAS LONG BEFORE I CLICKED ON IT.
THE SHIELD OF LOCKSLEY…AN ARTHURIAN TALE.
OKAY, MAYBE A BIT DRAMATIC…
BUT IT REMINDS ME OF HOWARD PYLE’S MEN OF IRON, ILLUSTRATED BY THE AUTHOR, NO LESS. ROBIN HOOD DID THE SAME THING FOR ME. (BUT I RESOLVED THAT BY WRITING A POETIC NOVEL, MY FIRST OF ANYTHING, WHEN I WAS 19.) I HAVE TO SAY I LOVED THE PRINCE VALIANT COMICS THEY RAN UP HERE IN THE VANCOUVER PROVINCE. I LIKED THE THREE MUSKETEERS AS WELL. SO I WROTE TWO OR THREE NOTEBOOKS OF A HANDWRITTEN STORY THAT I’VE PACKED AWAY.
THIS IS HOW I ENVISION LOCKSLEY.
OF COURSE I THOUGHT RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING THAT IT WOULD BE A SET OF FIVE STORIES (THAT’S WHAT I CALL BOOKS: STORIES) BECAUSE THE THREE MUSKETEERS WAS A SET OF FIVE. BUT OUR HERO WOULD BE A YOUNG NOVICE YET TO MAKE A NAME FOR HIMSELF. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A NOVEL OF ROMANTIC DERRING-DO. I’D BE USING MALLORY’S LE MORTE D’ARTHUR AS MY MAIN SOURCE. BUT I WANTED TO USE THE KNIGHTS WE DON’T HEAR ABOUT. THE ORKNEY KNIGHTS (GAWAIN, GAHERIS, AGRAVAINE, AND GARETH…OH YES, AND OF COURSE MODRED.) WHILE I WANT TO MAKE SIR LAMORACK DE GALES, FIRST COUSIN TO LANCELOT, A MAJOR PLAYER, I ALSO GET TO USE THE GRUMMER GRUMMERSON CHARACTER AS I FIRST IMAGINED HIM. I’VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HIM AS ANOTHER MAJOR PLAYER…AND THEN, BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, I’M USING HIM IN MY DRAGON STORY.
BUT JACK OF DIAMONDS WAS THE PERFECT ANTI-HERO, WASN’T HE?
HE HAS HIS OWN MORAL CODE; HIS OWN ETHICS; HE WAS TRAUMATIZED DURING THE WAR, AND GOT TRANSFERRED WHEN THEY REALIZED HE SPOKE FIVE LANGUAGES, OTHER THAN ENGLISH.
HE ALSO DOES PARKOUR. HE CAN SCALE THE OUTSIDE OF A SEVEN STOREY BUILDING AND BE DOWN ON THE STREET BEFORE THE OCCUPANTS EVEN LEAVE THE BUILDING.
HE’S A WOMANIZER, A LIAR, A CHEAT, AND HAS LOW MORAL STANDARDS… BUT HE DOES HAVE THEM. HE HAS A SENSE OF HONESTY AND FAIR PLAY, BUT ONLY TO A POINT.
IN ALL HONESTY, I STARTED WRITING JACK OF DIAMONDS DURING THE PANDEMIC, EARLY IN 2021. IT WAS BEFORE MY INCIDENT AT WORK WHICH WAS IN THE BEGINNING OF 2022. I HAD ENOUGH TIME TO WRITE ABOUT 113,000 WORDS. I FIRST STARTED WRITING THIS STORY AS A CHALLENGE TO MYSELF; I WANTED TO SEE IF I COULD ACTUALLY WRITE A NOVEL. I’D BEEN PUTTING IT UP ON THE VOCAL PLATFORM SO THAT WAY I WOULD HAVE TO KEEP GOING. BUT I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THEIR IDEA OF CENSORSHIP. I’VE LONG BELIEVED THAT WHAT HAPPENS WITHIN THE CONFINES OF A COUPLE’S BEDROOM AND CAN BE DESCRIBED AS CONSENSUAL SEX WITH A MARRIED COUPLE WILLINGLY ENGAGED, IT WOULD BE FAIR GAME…
NO GO. IT’S RAPE. WHAT? RAPE?
I DECIDED TO DELETE THE WHOLE CHAPTER RATHER THAN GIVE INTO TO THE CONSTANT CENSORSHIP. I WAS PISSED OFF AND FRUSTRATED. I FELT RESTRICTED IN WHAT I COULD SAY OR WRITE.
AFTER IT WAS ALL SAID AND DONE, I HAD ABOUT SEVENTY CHAPTERS I’D ALREADY WRITTEN. I WOULD HAVE TO PUT THEM BEHIND THE PAYWALL THOUGH. BUT IT GAVE ME A YEAR AND A HALF TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE.
THAT’S WHEN I HAD THE THE INCIDENT AT WORK.
I STOPPED WRITING. COMPLETELY.
IT WAS AROUND JUNE WHEN I STUMBLED INTO THIS PLACE. SOMEONE SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH A LINK TO A STORY. I COULDN’T TELL YOU WHO IT WAS FROM, BUT I LOOKED AT EVERYTHING THE EMAIL HAD TO OFFER—I STILL DIDN’T OPEN IT—BUT STARTED EXPLORING SUBSTACK BEFORE I LOOKED AT THE EMAIL’S LINK. I SIGNED UP THAT DAY.
I WENT THROUGH MY STORIES AND THOUGHT I HAD ENOUGH OF MY OWN TO LAST ME A YEAR, OR MAYBE EVEN TWO. I COULD POST TWICE A WEEK, AND THEN I MADE IT THREE DAYS A WEEK. I COULD PUT UP MY JACK OF DIAMONDS, AND OFFER PEOPLE THE CHANCE TO SAY HOW THEY WANTED TO EDIT THE STORY. I RECEIVED NO COMMENTS FROM ANYONE.
I STILL HAD A MAJOR NOVEL I WANTED TO WRITE, MY EPIC, AND SO MUCH MORE. I TOLD MYSELF I COULD EASILY BE HERE FOR THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS. I SHOULD BE THINKING OF GOALS I CAN SET FOR MYSELF WITHIN THE NEXT TWENTY YEARS.
WHAT DO I FORESEE?
WORKING WITH A STAGGERING FOLLOWING.
EVEN WITH MY LOWEST ESTIMATE, I’M STILL COMING UP WITH 200,00 FOLLOWERS OVER A 20 YEAR PERIOD. THIS PLATFORM, I BELIEVE, HAS YET TO HAVE A BEST SELLING NOVEL BE PUT OUT AS A SERIAL. IF 7% OF MY SUBSCRIBERS ARE PAID SUBSCRIBERS, THAT’S ALMOST $70,000/MONTH. SO WHY CAN’T I BE THE FIRST BEST SELLING WRITER ON SUBSTACK WRITING SERIALS?
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I’VE FINISHED MY FIRST STORY SINCE THE ACCIDENT—I DON’T MEAN THE TIME TRAVEL THING, THAT’S DIFFERENT—BUT THE SHORT STORY I STARTED BEFORE I ENTERED THE NANOWRIMO CHALLENGE. I ENTERED THE NANOWRIMO CHALLENGE BECAUSE I FELT FREE ENOUGH TO WRITE AGAIN ONCE I STARTED WRITING THIS STORY.
I WROTE “A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO TIME TRAVEL” WITH NO PLOT AND NO STORY IDEA. WHEN THE IDEAS CAME, IT CHANGED THE STORY AROUND. .
I COULD ONLY FEEL THE CONFIDENCE TO DO THAT BECAUSE I’D STARTED WRITING A STORY ABOUT A KID WHOSE MOTHER WAS DYING…YADA, YADA, YADA. I WILLINGLY PUT IT ASIDE. I WANTED TO WRITE THE NANOWRIMO TO CHALLENGE MYSELF. BY THE TIME I GOT TO 28,000 WORDS, I KNEW I WAS GOING TO NEED MORE. I SET 80,000 AS MY GOAL AND SETTLED ON 98,680 WORDS.
AFTER I WROTE MY TIME TRAVELER’S STORY I WENT BACK TO LOOK AT MY ORIGINAL SHORT STORY WITH THE INTENTION OF IMMERSING MYSELF IN THAT AND DISTANCING MYSELF FROM MY TIME TRAVELER’S “GUIDEBOOK.”
I LOOKED AT THE SHORT STORY I’D BEEN WRITING AND CHANGED IT COMPLETELY. I MEAN, I KILLED THE FATHER OFF SOMEWHERE IN THE FIRST PAGE AND A HALF; I MADE THE MOTHER A WORLD FAMOUS ACTRESS; A STAR OF BOTH STAGE AND SCREEN WHO’S DYING OF CANCER AND WANTS TO DIE IN FLORENCE…AND THE STORY TOLD ITSELF.
ONCE AGAIN, IT COULD BE ONE OF THOSE STORIES THAT CREATES CONTROVERSY—ESPECIALLY IF I TELL EVERYONE, SO THEY DON’T HAVE TO LIE ABOUT READING IT. C’MON, WHAT CENSOR HAS EVER READ WHAT HE’SHE’S BANNING? CONTROVERSY? WOULD THAT BE A GOOD THING, OR A BAD THING? I STILL HAVEN’T FIGURED THAT OUT.
SPOILER ALERT…
THERE’S A HOMOSEXUAL UNCLE WHO’S ARRESTED AND MISSES HIS OWN SISTER’S FUNERAL. (THAT’S ON THE FIRST PAGE.) SOME PEOPLE MAY BE OFFENDED BY THE WAY THE HOMOSEXUAL UNCLE IS TREATED LATER ON BY HIS FAMILY, AND YET THEY FORGET THAT LEGAL CASTRATION WAS THE PENALTY IF HE WAS CAUGHT AND SENTENCED TO GROSS INDECENCY ANYWHERE IN ENGLAND.
ONCE AGAIN, IF IT OFFENDS YOU, JUST TURN THE PAGE…
SO NONE OF THIS OF COURSE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE QUESTION THAT BEGS TO BE ASKED. WHICH STORY AM I PUTTING UP FOR YOU?
THE KNIGHT…
OR THE KNAVE?
