I ran across a chapter in Dawn Patrol and was impressed with your writing. I wasn't able to keep up with reading but vowed to come back, and today I am working on catching up some. I continue to be impressed with your product but the Substack listing format makes it difficult to read for anyone coming at it piecemeal instead of being able to read each installment as offered. It would really enable a smoother reading (conducted in the way most people are used to reading a book) if there were section or subheading titles in addition to "Dawn Patrol" on the Substack listing, even if you would not always want to include those in an eventual book format. For instance, as of now the dates are the only clue as to reading order other than order in the list, and depending on how one attempts to bounce between list and story, one's place in the list can be lost. I almost missed the first installment, and the interspersed timelines make it difficult to be certain the reader has not missed something in this format. This is in no way a criticism of your writing or clever juggling of timelines, but it is an artifact of the way it works in this format. I suspect I have missed one somehow as a comment mentions a love interest I cannot place... darn!
When you move this over into a book format (which I hope you do) it would be helpful to always include the year or a character name as a section header or chapter title when appropriate to help us with a "you are here" on the reader's mental map. I don't mean to sound as though I don't recognize there are deliberately vague moments where we are plunged directly into a conversation without knowing something like the identity of one of the characters until we pick it up through the dialog. You do that with an artist's touch, and it recreates a common feeling - that of joining a group already existing and functioning prior to the page, and which will continue to interact off the page when we depart and until we rejoin them at a later moment. Place us squarely on the map, then weave your fabulously deft magic to immerse us in those socially delicate moments of suspension, uncertainty, vulnerability, grace, and cynical permission to spin excuses or to call them out.
I'm sorry, I thought I had them joined. I will go and do that ASAP. I'll start at Number 1 and put a link on the bottom of each page. Thank you for pointing this out to me.
Actually, if you go to the home page on my 'Stack, I have a section on the NAVIGATION BAR: SHORT STORIES AFTER EIGHT, where the entire story appears in order.
As well, on the BOTTOM of every page where the COMMENTS section is, are two little boxes PREVIOUS and NEXT. Hitting those will bring you to the next piece.
I ran across a chapter in Dawn Patrol and was impressed with your writing. I wasn't able to keep up with reading but vowed to come back, and today I am working on catching up some. I continue to be impressed with your product but the Substack listing format makes it difficult to read for anyone coming at it piecemeal instead of being able to read each installment as offered. It would really enable a smoother reading (conducted in the way most people are used to reading a book) if there were section or subheading titles in addition to "Dawn Patrol" on the Substack listing, even if you would not always want to include those in an eventual book format. For instance, as of now the dates are the only clue as to reading order other than order in the list, and depending on how one attempts to bounce between list and story, one's place in the list can be lost. I almost missed the first installment, and the interspersed timelines make it difficult to be certain the reader has not missed something in this format. This is in no way a criticism of your writing or clever juggling of timelines, but it is an artifact of the way it works in this format. I suspect I have missed one somehow as a comment mentions a love interest I cannot place... darn!
When you move this over into a book format (which I hope you do) it would be helpful to always include the year or a character name as a section header or chapter title when appropriate to help us with a "you are here" on the reader's mental map. I don't mean to sound as though I don't recognize there are deliberately vague moments where we are plunged directly into a conversation without knowing something like the identity of one of the characters until we pick it up through the dialog. You do that with an artist's touch, and it recreates a common feeling - that of joining a group already existing and functioning prior to the page, and which will continue to interact off the page when we depart and until we rejoin them at a later moment. Place us squarely on the map, then weave your fabulously deft magic to immerse us in those socially delicate moments of suspension, uncertainty, vulnerability, grace, and cynical permission to spin excuses or to call them out.
I'm sorry, I thought I had them joined. I will go and do that ASAP. I'll start at Number 1 and put a link on the bottom of each page. Thank you for pointing this out to me.
Actually, if you go to the home page on my 'Stack, I have a section on the NAVIGATION BAR: SHORT STORIES AFTER EIGHT, where the entire story appears in order.
As well, on the BOTTOM of every page where the COMMENTS section is, are two little boxes PREVIOUS and NEXT. Hitting those will bring you to the next piece.