I like the story especiallly the female characte who tricks the young dolt-in-love. The only part of the story I dont like is the beginning two or three sentences that are marred by descriptive clichess: "soft glow" "dew-laden" "trail of glistening tears" "soft blush". Theres way too much unecessay description or lets say beendoneamilliontimes befoe, and it impedes the story and makes a readerwant to say "Get on with it so you can get into the dam house already!"
Like this one...And, wish it was a book. A real, live book with crisp pages to turn quickly when involved in a plot and waiting for more to come. REALLY LOVE BOOKS MUCH BETTER THAN THIS ELECTRONIC B.S.
Can comprehend your desire to focus upon your craft. Feel as a fish on a line who went for the wormy bait...If only to finish this tale...Do you feel my floppin' on the line here?
I'm giggling. I agree with you though. But this isn't long enough to be a book. But I'll bet you in six or seven months I could collect enough of them to make a book. I should have a poll asking the readers to select 3-4 stories, and then print them up and offer them as an incentive to go PAID. What a great idea! Thanks.
Great Minds, don't ya know. Sounds like a Banner Idea and happy to INSPIRE such genius! PAID subscribers like me could help cover expenses while you're creating your AMERICAN MASTERPIECE. I'll pay for this one...Kinda like buying a book even though I haven't been into new fiction much of late.
Reading Philosophy, Political Analysis, Psych Research for a Project...And, desert has been the classics read with a more mature mind. Been sort of an adventure. Gotta get the reading done as the 'Farm Season' is just around the corner...And, there will be more to contend with than birthing a few calves and fouls.
Enjoyed this...Piqued my interest. Pretty good writing, Ben.
Thank you so much. I don't get a lot of comments right now. I'm hoping that picks up. I have to start pushing myself out there so that people see my page. But I'm a Canadian, and we're polite, not pushy. (You stepped on my foot...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it under yours.) But no, I can definitely find an editor to help clean things up and then maybe look into the PODs.
Like this one...And, wish it was a book. A real, live book with crisp pages to turn quickly when involved in a plot and waiting for more to come. REALLY LOVE BOOKS MUCH BETTER THAN THIS ELECTRONIC B.S.
Can comprehend your desire to focus upon your craft. Feel as a fish on a line who went for the wormy bait...If only to finish this tale...Do you feel my floppin' on the line here?
I like the story especiallly the female characte who tricks the young dolt-in-love. The only part of the story I dont like is the beginning two or three sentences that are marred by descriptive clichess: "soft glow" "dew-laden" "trail of glistening tears" "soft blush". Theres way too much unecessay description or lets say beendoneamilliontimes befoe, and it impedes the story and makes a readerwant to say "Get on with it so you can get into the dam house already!"
Ah...but you kept on reading it...
Ah,dude,out of duty.
I just found you through The Library. I loved this story! Beautiful setting & details! I'm going to subscribe and look forward to reading more.
Thank you so much. I hope I don't disappoint you.
Oh my. What a love story. A life story.
Thank you, that means a lot to me.
Like this one...And, wish it was a book. A real, live book with crisp pages to turn quickly when involved in a plot and waiting for more to come. REALLY LOVE BOOKS MUCH BETTER THAN THIS ELECTRONIC B.S.
Can comprehend your desire to focus upon your craft. Feel as a fish on a line who went for the wormy bait...If only to finish this tale...Do you feel my floppin' on the line here?
I'm giggling. I agree with you though. But this isn't long enough to be a book. But I'll bet you in six or seven months I could collect enough of them to make a book. I should have a poll asking the readers to select 3-4 stories, and then print them up and offer them as an incentive to go PAID. What a great idea! Thanks.
Great Minds, don't ya know. Sounds like a Banner Idea and happy to INSPIRE such genius! PAID subscribers like me could help cover expenses while you're creating your AMERICAN MASTERPIECE. I'll pay for this one...Kinda like buying a book even though I haven't been into new fiction much of late.
Reading Philosophy, Political Analysis, Psych Research for a Project...And, desert has been the classics read with a more mature mind. Been sort of an adventure. Gotta get the reading done as the 'Farm Season' is just around the corner...And, there will be more to contend with than birthing a few calves and fouls.
Enjoyed this...Piqued my interest. Pretty good writing, Ben.
Thank you so much. I don't get a lot of comments right now. I'm hoping that picks up. I have to start pushing myself out there so that people see my page. But I'm a Canadian, and we're polite, not pushy. (You stepped on my foot...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it under yours.) But no, I can definitely find an editor to help clean things up and then maybe look into the PODs.
Like this one...And, wish it was a book. A real, live book with crisp pages to turn quickly when involved in a plot and waiting for more to come. REALLY LOVE BOOKS MUCH BETTER THAN THIS ELECTRONIC B.S.
Can comprehend your desire to focus upon your craft. Feel as a fish on a line who went for the wormy bait...If only to finish this tale...Do you feel my floppin' on the line here?