Great first line, the hook, the voice, the insight. And what follows feels really real and grounding, down to that ash flying back in through the back window...
When I was a kid, parents smoked in their cars. In the summertime, the window would be rolled down, and the ashes would fly into the back seat. In winter, the windows would be rolled up, and the vent window would be open. Second hand smoke? No problem! We just opened the back window a crack and put our noses up to breathe in the fresh air.
Hi Ben, I liked the tensions in this story; those between the protagonists and also where they were going; would they get there without consequences; etc. Sincerely, Heather Podrow (a friend of Kim Waite).
“Cecil’s expecting me, and he’s only here until tomorrow,” he added, making sure to pick up his drink and drain the last of it. Father’s was the first funeral I’d ever been to.
Man! That really hits home. Gorgeous writing, Ben.
It's all there. I was supposed to put the second part up, but this was the only opportunity we had to decorate the house. It usually takes a couple of days. 🤷🏼
Terry Thomas.. Terribly funny. .
Great first line, the hook, the voice, the insight. And what follows feels really real and grounding, down to that ash flying back in through the back window...
When I was a kid, parents smoked in their cars. In the summertime, the window would be rolled down, and the ashes would fly into the back seat. In winter, the windows would be rolled up, and the vent window would be open. Second hand smoke? No problem! We just opened the back window a crack and put our noses up to breathe in the fresh air.
I had the feeling that detail was drawn from real life.
Beautifully understated.
This is very good writing, Ben, very good indeed.
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
More than that, I was inspired to push my own bar higher. 🙏
Hi Ben, I liked the tensions in this story; those between the protagonists and also where they were going; would they get there without consequences; etc. Sincerely, Heather Podrow (a friend of Kim Waite).
Extraordinary story, Ben.
I remember reading this when it came out, and I can’t believe I never smashed the like button on the first episode. It’s really good, Ben.
I did want to point out a minor typo. The link at the bottom to part two is misspelled as “Part Tow”
I know. I've tried to fix it, but every time I do, it sends me tow part "tow".🤷🏼
“Cecil’s expecting me, and he’s only here until tomorrow,” he added, making sure to pick up his drink and drain the last of it. Father’s was the first funeral I’d ever been to.
Man! That really hits home. Gorgeous writing, Ben.
Thank you! Merry Christmas and all the best to you and your loved ones!
Well done Ben. I'll have to dip into the archives to see if you've published a second part.
It's all there. I was supposed to put the second part up, but this was the only opportunity we had to decorate the house. It usually takes a couple of days. 🤷🏼