Beautiful, Ben. Deep and haunting. You had me right there on that road with them, listening in. I made a snap judgement about the father and his bottle of rum. Then I understood, and was sorry for it. Thank you for reminding me about the error in judging too soon. Of judging at all.
I'm curious. Is it the writing, or the story? The characters, or the setting? I don't think these things through when I write. I don't usually have a plot, and if I do, it's very skeletal. I just write the story the way I like to read it. I love the language of words, and the syncopation of sound. I love that I've connected with people, but the things they see that have totally escaped me, well, it's pretty heady shit sometimes, you know?
Great questions, Ben, questions we all ask ourselves. I am qualified to address them only from my own naive personal perspective, though. To me, your story is authentic, it is compelling, it is mature, and I always want more. One first has to have a story worth reading - whether it is planned ahead or not! (Most of my own stories are born on the page, I rarely know where I am going. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail miserably.) You have a beautiful command of English ( and you edit very clean and tight) -- and so many budding writers on Substack do not! Some "writers" just set my teeth on edge. From the language standpoint, your story is a joy to read. I compare your work to the short stories of Jim Cummings. If you do not know him, try this one to see what I mean. https://jimcummings5251.substack.com/p/as-marie-might-say-762 . He, like you, deserves more recognition. Substack -- if we can rise above the noise, is a great opportunity for us all. Keep your confidence high. In my opinion, you've got it going on!
Thank you for the kind words, Sharron. I just came over here because I saw that Ben had subscribed to my Substack. I just read The Dawn Patrol and I must say I am very flattered to be compared. I am ssubscribing.
PS: Regarding "syncopation" and "sound", I imagine you read your work aloud as you write? The melody, the rhythm of the words is important to me as well. I commonly rewrite a sentence 20 times to get the music going in my head. I search endlessly for the one right word. It is good not to hurry. Every time I hurry to post a piece, I have been disappointed.
I do read things aloud. I've read and read and read some more, and then read it out loud and realize there is a misspelled word that I was just skimming over, because that's how the brain works, I guess.
The characters are growing and our connection to them are too. This is a story I want to hear more and more about. I love the geographical references throughout.
Beautiful, Ben. Deep and haunting. You had me right there on that road with them, listening in. I made a snap judgement about the father and his bottle of rum. Then I understood, and was sorry for it. Thank you for reminding me about the error in judging too soon. Of judging at all.
I so hope I don't disappoint you when you get to the end. I guess only time will tell.
Disappointment is not a possibility here. I have every confidence!
I'm curious. Is it the writing, or the story? The characters, or the setting? I don't think these things through when I write. I don't usually have a plot, and if I do, it's very skeletal. I just write the story the way I like to read it. I love the language of words, and the syncopation of sound. I love that I've connected with people, but the things they see that have totally escaped me, well, it's pretty heady shit sometimes, you know?
Great questions, Ben, questions we all ask ourselves. I am qualified to address them only from my own naive personal perspective, though. To me, your story is authentic, it is compelling, it is mature, and I always want more. One first has to have a story worth reading - whether it is planned ahead or not! (Most of my own stories are born on the page, I rarely know where I am going. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail miserably.) You have a beautiful command of English ( and you edit very clean and tight) -- and so many budding writers on Substack do not! Some "writers" just set my teeth on edge. From the language standpoint, your story is a joy to read. I compare your work to the short stories of Jim Cummings. If you do not know him, try this one to see what I mean. https://jimcummings5251.substack.com/p/as-marie-might-say-762 . He, like you, deserves more recognition. Substack -- if we can rise above the noise, is a great opportunity for us all. Keep your confidence high. In my opinion, you've got it going on!
Thank you for the kind words, Sharron. I just came over here because I saw that Ben had subscribed to my Substack. I just read The Dawn Patrol and I must say I am very flattered to be compared. I am ssubscribing.
Another example of how being supportive of other writers has a win-win result.
PS: Regarding "syncopation" and "sound", I imagine you read your work aloud as you write? The melody, the rhythm of the words is important to me as well. I commonly rewrite a sentence 20 times to get the music going in my head. I search endlessly for the one right word. It is good not to hurry. Every time I hurry to post a piece, I have been disappointed.
I do read things aloud. I've read and read and read some more, and then read it out loud and realize there is a misspelled word that I was just skimming over, because that's how the brain works, I guess.
Such a strong one, Ben.
It felt good doing it. I think I'm starting to come out of my shell.
Writing from the heart. I know what you mean. This is turning into one hell of a book.
Thank you so much.
The characters are growing and our connection to them are too. This is a story I want to hear more and more about. I love the geographical references throughout.
Those are based on reality. The bridge, the place they live, that's all here.
I know, it works well. I like that.
Wow.
Thank you, and welcome aboard!