Now this is good writing. I mean, extremely good writing. I have only read this snippet so I'm not referring to character building (although there is plenty of it in just this sample) or plot line or any of the other macros of story telling. I'm referring to the way the action is so well envisioned and conveyed the reader can release into the scene and be there without that small tight shield against the jar of having a cup of hot chocolate suddenly be in the wrong hands, or forgotten in a hug where, honestly, you'd still be sparing a sliver of attention to not spilling it. The way the mental by play feels right and true to life; still coloring actions and bubbling along behind what's said even during the most crucial moments of our lives.
These two men, so different from each other, are both just lost. They simply don't know what to do or say or feel. I feel such sympathy for them. I think maybe men always wants to be strong and they feel somewhat ashamed that they can't keep it together when someone they love is dying. Only the little girl, equally frightened and confused, holds them together because she needs them. I think it is good of you, Ben, to remind us that it is often through the tending to others' needs, we are able to calm our own angst. Excellent writing. You have captured me.
Now this is good writing. I mean, extremely good writing. I have only read this snippet so I'm not referring to character building (although there is plenty of it in just this sample) or plot line or any of the other macros of story telling. I'm referring to the way the action is so well envisioned and conveyed the reader can release into the scene and be there without that small tight shield against the jar of having a cup of hot chocolate suddenly be in the wrong hands, or forgotten in a hug where, honestly, you'd still be sparing a sliver of attention to not spilling it. The way the mental by play feels right and true to life; still coloring actions and bubbling along behind what's said even during the most crucial moments of our lives.
Thank you so much for that. I wish you could know how good that makes me feel. Even my wife was stunned by what you said. Thank you again!
These two men, so different from each other, are both just lost. They simply don't know what to do or say or feel. I feel such sympathy for them. I think maybe men always wants to be strong and they feel somewhat ashamed that they can't keep it together when someone they love is dying. Only the little girl, equally frightened and confused, holds them together because she needs them. I think it is good of you, Ben, to remind us that it is often through the tending to others' needs, we are able to calm our own angst. Excellent writing. You have captured me.
Thank you ,Sharron. Your words truly are a comfort to me.🙇♂️